The End of an Ari(zone) - Day 6

Sorry this is so late. Apparently, the black hole through which my sky-vehicle flew, on the way to Chicago O'Hare Airport, has kept this message from being posted.

On Day 6 of my sojourn through "the Zone of Ari," I leapt forth through a wormhole and ended up on the otherside of Mars - a paradise of red rock known as Sedona. I craved climbing as though it were my soul's only mission. I was told of energy vortices that exist all around the mountains. I went in search of said vortex at the top of Cathedral Rock. I climbed upward for over an hour and slid down partway. A great many good and terrible yet bizarre occurrences monopolized this experience. These events can only be explained through four separate short video clips. Click on them if you dare...

As you read this message, I have already arrived home. The Zone of Ari was smashing good fun. I transmit this message from our side of the portal. My Muse could not be located. I am to continue looking for her in many more distant lands/worlds beyond this one.

For now, I bid you adieu. Please partake of the celluloid I have included in this final posting. Perhaps someday soon, we shall meet again in worlds other than this one.

-K-

Transmitting Messages from the Great Gorge - Days 4 & 5

I'm a day behind in my posts because I haven't had access to WiFi lately.

Anyway, today I set out for the Great Gorge. I've been searching for my Muse all week long and still haven't found her. I'm convinced however that she is trying to communicate with me through radiowaves. I've asked my Muse what name I should call her by. Moments later, she spoke to me.

She said, "Don't call my name. Don't call my name. Alejandro." I think she got my name wrong though.

Five hours of driving led me to the most unimaginable and beautiful sights. I watched as the moon came up over the Great Gorge. I slept in my chariot (very uncomfortable by the way) so that I could see the sun come up over the gorge. Also, I've been using Mr. Visa a little too much lately, so I thought I would save some dollar signs by roughing it in the wilderness. It took four hours to fall asleep, but I got to see the sun come up and fill the basin below. My snap-a-moment-so-it-will-last-longers (photos) don't do the gorge justice. You have to be here to see how mystical and perfect it is.

There's lots of German-speakers and other Europeans here. I shall update photos soon. Later today, I leave for Sedona.
It is said in legend that the Gorge was really created by the beast who devoured too many of her cousins in outerspace until she became so fat that she fell from the heavens and created the gi-normous crater below. The souls were released from her belly upon impact and that is how the planet became populated.

In the Land of the Thorns - Day 3

I moved to a new box this morning. It’s called Motel 6. I mentioned to the clerk that I was planning on traveling to the Great Gorge (the Grand Canyon on our side) this weekend, and she suggested that I take up a game of Pins and a Ball instead. I believe we would call this bowling. She was quite serious and then she proceeded to tell me that there is a Box-in-the-dark ($3 movie theater) nearby with some good movies that I could watch. She says it’s impossible for someone to watch all of the movies that come out at one time anyway, so it’s good to make the movies cost only $3.

I’m fascinated by a radio commercial that I keep hearing while I’m driving. It goes something like this: “Why pay $9.50 to the sandwich lady for a sandwich when you could pay only one dollar?” Then at the end of the commercial the sandwhich lady says in her Mexican accent, “Sandwich no cost one dollar. Sandwich lady need to get paid.” I want to meet the sandwich lady someday and ask her if she'll make me a sandwich.

Today, I entered into the Land of the Thorns. We call this the Desert Botanical Garden. It was phenomenal. My snap-a-moment-so-it-will-last-longer (or photos) do not show how stunning this place is. It’s acres and acres of trails and well-maintained succulents that can be found in Arizona and the four major deserts that touch AZ.

Then, I went to the Phoenix Zoo. At one point, I asked the baboons if I’m actually the one in the cage and they’re the tourists looking at me. The baboons turned up their ugly hineys to me and walked away. As I approached the gazelle exhibit, I turned the corner and found a life-like statue of one. I was startled and jumped back—thinking I had accidentally entered into an unfenced territory, or that one of the gazelles had gotten loose. When I realized it was a statue and not a real gazelle, I smacked it on the butt just to be sure. It didn't move.

After a bit, I travelled into downtown Phoenix. Perhaps it was a mirage, but I saw big buildings and the work day apparently stops at 5 pm, because everything was closing up by 6 o’clock. This is my kind of city! The parking garage attendant had trouble letting me out of the parking garage because he didn’t know how to operate the door. He had to type in special codes and he still couldn’t figure it out. Back home, we just press one button to make the door go up and down.

Tomorrow, I shall travel to the Great Gorge.

Travels with Chariot. - Day 2

My Muse sent me a gift today - a chariot, which I was told is to be used as I ride off into the desert. After receiving this gift, I immediately set forth into the desert, and neither did I look back once. With the haste and fury of the beasts that were pulling my sleigh, I landed myself among the wind-wrapped mountains outside of Surprise, Arizona.

The land is desolate, yet surprisingly I receive an excellent cell phone signal out here. I plowed through miles of asphalt and heat. It has warped my mind ever so slightly. Then, when I reached the point of no return, I turned my chariot around to drive back to the place where I should take up slumber for the evening. Alas, there was no surprise for me outside of Surprise. I did not find my Muse. But I'm learning more about the ways of the desert.

Signs posted along the road read, "Watch for Animals!" At first, I asked myself of what great numbers these beasts must hold sway over this land. Yet I did not find a single animal. But then I learned of something far more sinister. Twas not a warning to me that my chariot should drive slow, but instead it was a warning for the animals... "[We] Watch for Animals!" the sign should have read. Something nefarious must be afoot here. Something the likes of which must be an ill-tempered beast that takes pleasure in consuming the raw flesh of animals. The little gravestones along the road were an indicator of the numbers of animals who have died at the hands of this heinous creature. And the barbed-wired fences serve more as a spider-web for catching and holding them until the beast arrives to consume its meal.

The land grows scary with nightfall. Tomorrow, I shall learn more of the beast's wicked ways as I travel to the the greatest gorge on this side of the world. I am starting to believe the folklore that the beast created the gorge.

Also this evening, I received a message from She who speaks the language of Meow. Through radiowave interconnectivity, I learned of this message from the Motherly One. The Meowing One hides often and won't come out. It is reported that her daddy is missing...her. It's an omen. I must learn more before I am able to interpret.

Rubba-dub-dub. Thanks for the grub. - Still Day 1

After a nap, I walked around North Phoenix for nearly 3 hours. It's hard to imagine that there is no beach or shoreline. As I passed each block, I kept waiting to see the ocean. Phoenix, Arizona is the equivalent of Ocean City, Maryland inverted. The land is almost barren, yet clean and free of roadside trash. I'm also reminded of Germany when I look at North Phoenix. The buildings are uniform in architectural style. Cactii and other desert-dwellers add a nice replacement for trees. I'm a little scared to cross the streets, and I'm even more afraid to walk on the sidewalks. People appear to be driving 60 - 70 mph in 40 mph zones because everything is so spread out in Phoenix and it takes twice as long to get places I'm told.

Tonight's cuisine was authentic Mexican food. I had a refried bean chimichanga. It had more flavor than Taco Bell food, which I've been eating in greater quantity lately--in preparation for my trip, I suppose. I was the only gringo (white boy) in the Mexican restaurant. I think the people were wondering why I was there. They were watching Univision, and I pretended to watch as though I understood the Spanish language. The Mexican version of Katie Couric was interviewing some other dame. It looked very dramatic. I feigned interest.

I did not find my Muse while I was out eating, but I'm starting to pick up the clues that she's leaving behind. One such bit of advice that I've learned is to stop planning my trips out in advance and stop making plans for my life. When I live in the here and now, and stop worrying about how things will work out, everything falls nicely into place. And I seem to meet the right people as though I've had an appointment with them all along.

Thank you Muse!

Interdimensional Portal - Day 1

I boarded my plane when it was still dark, earlier this morning. As I approached the flight attendant on American Eagle Airlines, I asked her if everybody onboard automatically receives a free pair of jeans with each flight. She didn't laugh.

My plane waited approximately 40 minutes at the gate to depart, because the ground crew were moving people around inside to get the right balance of weight between the front and back of the winged-beast. One hour and 15 minutes later, I landed in Chicago.

My second flight departed for Phoenix, AZ. Halfway through the trip, I noticed something, the ground outside my window looked nothing like I had ever seen before. The landscape was an oven-baked brownie with chocolate icing and cracks. Had I entered Candyland territory?

After checking into my hotel room, I stopped next door at the 7-Eleven. I overheard the gentleman behind the counter telling his friend that a law-keeper stopped him and asked to see his--the words sounded like "port-pass" to me. It must be how some people are allowed to stay on this side of the portal. Poor guy. I felt sorry for him.

The magical elixir that I was sold is made of strawberries and has a slight kick when drunk in high doses. As we speak, I'm waiting for my sauce-cheese-o'crust to arrive at my door. I will go to bed soon, because I am very sleepy.

Tomorrow, I will rent a chariot and drive it like mad as they do here... as I search to find and free my Muse.